Folks like this make me gladI telecommute.
Working in customer service and client relations for years has given me a deep appreciation of the different types of rage experienced by people. Just yesterday I spoke to someone who screamed into the phone so loudly that the volume overloaded the phone's mic. So, what I heard was something like really, really angry Nine Inch Nails punctuated by a hoarse in-take of air before she spat more venom. Why was this person angry? Well, she had a gift card with $21 remaining and was mad that she couldn't place an order with $27 worth of items in it. I tried to explain that we just needed another payment method to cover the excess and she (not) calmly told me that I didn't understand, she was a customer and she deserved to use her gift card whenever she wanted. Oh, right.
"The Customer is Always Right" has been hated by service people for over a century. One of the primary reasons it's hated is that the people who embrace its sermon so tenderly are usually the ones terrorizing the staff. Whether this is the front line manager, an executive in the company or even a customer doesn't really matter. The most frustrating thing a staff member can experience is when they're getting yelled at by a customer for something that is not their fault (and is usually set by corporate/management policy) and then their manager scolds them for not helping the customer. This behavior is probably why Customer Service Personnel are just about the unhappiest employees in the country.
One of the least talked about causes of this unhappiness is the overall quality of employee most firms hire these days. In the past, those working the customer-facing jobs were the least formally educated and usually the most discriminated against (women, blacks, and latinos). These days if you're going through the checkout line at Whole Foods you're probably being served by someone with a Ph.D or at least a Masters. Perhaps most ironic, Whole Foods customers are some of the most entitled jerkbags out there. Not to belittle the humanity of all humans, especially those who have been disenfranchised and systemically denied equal opportunities, but it is a unique type of Frustrating when you've been forced to take a job far outside the career field you dedicated 10+ years of your life studying and then someone is in your line screaming at you because you didn't have the exact caviar she liked like she assumed you would. Yes -- I interviewed a candidate recently who was in "Customer Care" at Whole Foods and he told me this story as an example of his ability to handle difficult situations.
"The Customer is Always Right" has been hated by service people for over a century. One of the primary reasons it's hated is that the people who embrace its sermon so tenderly are usually the ones terrorizing the staff. Whether this is the front line manager, an executive in the company or even a customer doesn't really matter. The most frustrating thing a staff member can experience is when they're getting yelled at by a customer for something that is not their fault (and is usually set by corporate/management policy) and then their manager scolds them for not helping the customer. This behavior is probably why Customer Service Personnel are just about the unhappiest employees in the country.
One of the least talked about causes of this unhappiness is the overall quality of employee most firms hire these days. In the past, those working the customer-facing jobs were the least formally educated and usually the most discriminated against (women, blacks, and latinos). These days if you're going through the checkout line at Whole Foods you're probably being served by someone with a Ph.D or at least a Masters. Perhaps most ironic, Whole Foods customers are some of the most entitled jerkbags out there. Not to belittle the humanity of all humans, especially those who have been disenfranchised and systemically denied equal opportunities, but it is a unique type of Frustrating when you've been forced to take a job far outside the career field you dedicated 10+ years of your life studying and then someone is in your line screaming at you because you didn't have the exact caviar she liked like she assumed you would. Yes -- I interviewed a candidate recently who was in "Customer Care" at Whole Foods and he told me this story as an example of his ability to handle difficult situations.
Blue birds fly and the caviar that you demandwill Apparate at Whole Foods even if you don't call ahead
and make sure that they have it.
I'd like to take this opportunity to suggest something radical.
Companies like Whole Foods, Coca-Cola or General Electric have blobbled out so hard that they can't maintain a rational customer base anymore. They need every sale, otherwise one of their employees goes hungry. I get that and I even really respect these companies and their leadership immensely.
However, there is wonderful freedom in not only managing your employees but also in managing your customers. If you've ever been dumped, your friends might say something like, "It's OK, s/he didn't deserve you." Well, I agree. And some customers don't deserve you either. As I work on writing up Cake's legal contracts, I am working on including a consultant's Bill of Rights. If one of us at Cake feels that a client is unreasonably hostile and mean-spirited, we don't want your business. Please, go terrorize one of our competitors. I mean it. I'd rather cut my revenue than try to please someone who isn't willing to be pleasant.
I've represented profit-hungry businesses before and we've kept clients around who are frankly not a good investment. Usually they are rude to us and worse to end users. One client I can think of cost one of my employers 250% of the revenue we made off his account. However, because this person was a loud mouth who would have called his buddies to tell them not to be pals with us anymore, we tolerated him and made special exceptions. The executive suite ignored the pleas and reason from the staff and decided they'd rather keep his "profits" than side with their employees and cut this tumor out. Of course, the problem is that the longer you give abusive twerps carte blanche, the longer this type of person talks crap about you. You're basically giving them an unending supply of material to badmouth your business to others. Once you know the limb is lost, it's far better to amputate quickly than to go at it with kisses and good intentions.
Companies like Whole Foods, Coca-Cola or General Electric have blobbled out so hard that they can't maintain a rational customer base anymore. They need every sale, otherwise one of their employees goes hungry. I get that and I even really respect these companies and their leadership immensely.
However, there is wonderful freedom in not only managing your employees but also in managing your customers. If you've ever been dumped, your friends might say something like, "It's OK, s/he didn't deserve you." Well, I agree. And some customers don't deserve you either. As I work on writing up Cake's legal contracts, I am working on including a consultant's Bill of Rights. If one of us at Cake feels that a client is unreasonably hostile and mean-spirited, we don't want your business. Please, go terrorize one of our competitors. I mean it. I'd rather cut my revenue than try to please someone who isn't willing to be pleasant.
I've represented profit-hungry businesses before and we've kept clients around who are frankly not a good investment. Usually they are rude to us and worse to end users. One client I can think of cost one of my employers 250% of the revenue we made off his account. However, because this person was a loud mouth who would have called his buddies to tell them not to be pals with us anymore, we tolerated him and made special exceptions. The executive suite ignored the pleas and reason from the staff and decided they'd rather keep his "profits" than side with their employees and cut this tumor out. Of course, the problem is that the longer you give abusive twerps carte blanche, the longer this type of person talks crap about you. You're basically giving them an unending supply of material to badmouth your business to others. Once you know the limb is lost, it's far better to amputate quickly than to go at it with kisses and good intentions.
I love this guy. I can't even come up with a snarkycaption. My Feelz are too strong.
Earlier this week I got a call from one of the recruiting managers I work with to secure clients for Cake. She had some bad news for me.
I had offered Cake's services for a contract managing the web presence and new app for an accounting firm looking to acquire "non-traditional" accounting clients. I had it on good faith that the project leader was hip-2-it and that Cake's style would be a good fit. Accounting firms are not known for embracing creativity (frankly, I think creatives terrify most accountants) but I was well stoked to work on their branding and strategy.
The recruiting manager I spoke with said that the potential client had found my tone too informal and "unprofessional." Even though I was personally referred to her, she felt Emotions that I had contacted her directly because this was not the way you adhere to protocol. I suppose the typical corporate strategy is to not speak until you're spoken to. I guess you can tell that the Corp folks are kings because they haven't got $&*! all over them. Bring out yr dead, bring out yr dead.
Hearing this news actually delighted me. If I make rigid back Corp-ses uncomfortable, I am doing something right. I can't imagine working for a client on a brand launch targeted at young creatives if they didn't understand my approach. I sincerely wished this client the best of luck and responded to the client personally, telling them that I'd love to work with them in the future if their brand needed another set of eyes. I'm not sure how I'll respond to the client if she does reach out to me, but right now sending her this link sounds pretty attractive.
I had offered Cake's services for a contract managing the web presence and new app for an accounting firm looking to acquire "non-traditional" accounting clients. I had it on good faith that the project leader was hip-2-it and that Cake's style would be a good fit. Accounting firms are not known for embracing creativity (frankly, I think creatives terrify most accountants) but I was well stoked to work on their branding and strategy.
The recruiting manager I spoke with said that the potential client had found my tone too informal and "unprofessional." Even though I was personally referred to her, she felt Emotions that I had contacted her directly because this was not the way you adhere to protocol. I suppose the typical corporate strategy is to not speak until you're spoken to. I guess you can tell that the Corp folks are kings because they haven't got $&*! all over them. Bring out yr dead, bring out yr dead.
Hearing this news actually delighted me. If I make rigid back Corp-ses uncomfortable, I am doing something right. I can't imagine working for a client on a brand launch targeted at young creatives if they didn't understand my approach. I sincerely wished this client the best of luck and responded to the client personally, telling them that I'd love to work with them in the future if their brand needed another set of eyes. I'm not sure how I'll respond to the client if she does reach out to me, but right now sending her this link sounds pretty attractive.
I hope reading this blog post makes your coldsteel heart beat as one with mine.
Today is Valentine's Day. I hate to talk about dating in another blog post, but it just seems appropriate. If you have to be anyone other than yourself in order to be with someone, whether a client or a partner, then that is a craptastic relationship. You should probably break up and look for someone who will be a better fit for you. The more you try to please everyone, the less of a You you become. You become a highlights reel (at best) or a Talkboy (at worst).
If you're a client looking for a creative firm or consultants to hire, you should really make sure that you like the firm you decide to work with. Of course, Cake would love to take your money and your hugs, but at the same time I'd rather you be with a firm that works for you. We can still be friends and it won't be awkward if we run into each other at the supermarket. Promise. Pinky swear.
As a last thought, Happy Valentine's Day! I can't think of a better way to say this than a geeky love song half-played by a real life kitten. Here's to you, dear reader: may you find the partner(s) you deserve and enjoy a slice of delicious cake with them.
If you're a client looking for a creative firm or consultants to hire, you should really make sure that you like the firm you decide to work with. Of course, Cake would love to take your money and your hugs, but at the same time I'd rather you be with a firm that works for you. We can still be friends and it won't be awkward if we run into each other at the supermarket. Promise. Pinky swear.
As a last thought, Happy Valentine's Day! I can't think of a better way to say this than a geeky love song half-played by a real life kitten. Here's to you, dear reader: may you find the partner(s) you deserve and enjoy a slice of delicious cake with them.
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